So many misguided people during a zombie apocalypse do not take the time to consider how important the right attire is now that their lives are solely dedicated to fighting, killing, and most especially running from zombies.
Of course shopping is difficult during a zombie apocalypse, unless you and your friends happen to be stuck at the mall which often happens for some reason. Then your problems are solved. Just remember, layers are important. There is no way to get zombie guts or goo out of clothes. Many people have tried – baking soda, bleach, extra scrubbing – nothing works.
Don’t be that girl who tries to fight zombies in high heels. Anyone wearing platforms, a short skirt, or generally anything revealing tends to get eaten first by zombies. It’s just how things work. If you have to strip clothes from a dead body you can, but make sure they’re really dead, otherwise you will either be eaten or turned into a zombie.
Fashion is important – but so is staying alive. It doesn’t matter if you are sporting a $500 pair of Manolo Blahniks – if they are making you move slow, take them off for goodness sakes and put on a pair of Converse or something.
No one has actually done an intensive scientific study about the ratio of coolness to footwear and how that may increase or decrease your chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse. But they should.
Speaking of which, if you wear a pinky ring you will die first and painfully. Likewise, if you wear a lot of gold chains and your shirt open to the waist like some ‘70s mustachioed wonder, your odds of survival are not good.
Ladies, miniskirts are not ok. Tight skirts can hinder your running ability and for some unknown reason trashy clothes are like catnip for zombies. No one can explain it. There seems to be a causal link to hair height/hairspray usage that really attracts zombies like moths to a flame as well.
What would you wear during a zombie apocalypse? Leave your answer in the comments for a chance to win a free T-shirt.
Of course shopping is difficult during a zombie apocalypse, unless you and your friends happen to be stuck at the mall which often happens for some reason. Then your problems are solved. Just remember, layers are important. There is no way to get zombie guts or goo out of clothes. Many people have tried – baking soda, bleach, extra scrubbing – nothing works.
Don’t be that girl who tries to fight zombies in high heels. Anyone wearing platforms, a short skirt, or generally anything revealing tends to get eaten first by zombies. It’s just how things work. If you have to strip clothes from a dead body you can, but make sure they’re really dead, otherwise you will either be eaten or turned into a zombie.
Fashion is important – but so is staying alive. It doesn’t matter if you are sporting a $500 pair of Manolo Blahniks – if they are making you move slow, take them off for goodness sakes and put on a pair of Converse or something.
No one has actually done an intensive scientific study about the ratio of coolness to footwear and how that may increase or decrease your chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse. But they should.
Speaking of which, if you wear a pinky ring you will die first and painfully. Likewise, if you wear a lot of gold chains and your shirt open to the waist like some ‘70s mustachioed wonder, your odds of survival are not good.
Ladies, miniskirts are not ok. Tight skirts can hinder your running ability and for some unknown reason trashy clothes are like catnip for zombies. No one can explain it. There seems to be a causal link to hair height/hairspray usage that really attracts zombies like moths to a flame as well.
What would you wear during a zombie apocalypse? Leave your answer in the comments for a chance to win a free T-shirt.
The winner will be posted in CaliforniaZombies.com website tomorrow at 11pm PST. Good Luck!
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I'd wear a muscle shirt and a thermal on top and some well-fitting, straight cut jeans. They must be made of very good denim. From past experience of other things, it's kept me warm on cold nights and prevented little scrapes from occurring when I can't even keep track of them.
ReplyDeleteAs for another outer layer, I'd prefer a dirty-looking sweater - one of those XXXL ones that I can pull myself into for those moments when you need to disappear from an enemy. Plus, I can store stuff in the pockets. Ahh, what else..?
Oh, yeah, shoes. If it's Northern Cali, I'd keep my service boots on most of the time. But if it's Southern Cali, I'd stick with running/track shoes or something for long distance...
Now that I think about it, I'd also like some gloves on me so I can climb those annoying brick walls that would pop up in the event that I'm chased by zombies. They should be made out of material that is difficult to bite.
After acquiring all of this, I guess I'd be all set! :D
I would have to be one of those woman in cargo pants (pocket space is important) steel toed boots without a heel on it for running, and a light weight leather jacket (protection from bites). Leather gloves are a must. Must always wear a hat...hair pulling is a quick way to be stopped when running from zombies if they get too close.
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