Of course shopping is difficult during a zombie apocalypse, unless you and your friends happen to be stuck at the mall which often happens for some reason. Then your problems are solved. Just remember, layers are important. There is no way to get zombie guts or goo out of clothes. Many people have tried – baking soda, bleach, extra scrubbing – nothing works.
Don’t be that girl who tries to fight zombies in high heels. Anyone wearing platforms, a short skirt, or generally anything revealing tends to get eaten first by zombies. It’s just how things work. If you have to strip clothes from a dead body you can, but make sure they’re really dead, otherwise you will either be eaten or turned into a zombie.
Fashion is important – but so is staying alive. It doesn’t matter if you are sporting a $500 pair of Manolo Blahniks – if they are making you move slow, take them off for goodness sakes and put on a pair of Converse or something.
No one has actually done an intensive scientific study about the ratio of coolness to footwear and how that may increase or decrease your chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse. But they should.
Speaking of which, if you wear a pinky ring you will die first and painfully. Likewise, if you wear a lot of gold chains and your shirt open to the waist like some ‘70s mustachioed wonder, your odds of survival are not good.
Ladies, miniskirts are not ok. Tight skirts can hinder your running ability and for some unknown reason trashy clothes are like catnip for zombies. No one can explain it. There seems to be a causal link to hair height/hairspray usage that really attracts zombies like moths to a flame as well.
What would you wear during a zombie apocalypse? Leave your answer in the comments for a chance to win a free T-shirt.