First, you have to be strong enough for when your friend and fighting comrade looks at you and says “Sheesh, glad we got ‘em all but one of ‘em bit me.” You still have to be able to chop off your friend’s head, which is, in itself, a form of altruism.
It’s not everyone who can do something like that, but when drooling zombies are beating down your door, sometimes you have to.
But generally being the good guy will save you from getting your brains eaten or your body dismembered by a pack of hungry zombies. Generally.
If you are in your zombie apocalypse hideout (hopefully a stainless-steel reinforced well-stocked apartment on the 93rd floor), and you see a cute little kitten outside, wandering around cutely and doing cute kitten things, DO NOT TRY AND RESCUE THE CUTE KITTEN.
The first person who says “Awww….he’s so cute and all alone! I’m going to get him!” will be zombie brunch.
It would seem that people who are not so nice statistically get chomped on more than nice people. Did you eat the last of the Spam rations? Zombie karma will probably get you, and soon. Did you laze out and take a nap while everyone was trying to lock down your hideout? Then it is likely you will be napping in eternity after not too terribly long.
It’s odd – the likelihood of becoming a zombie snack is actually less if you stay behind to help a fallen comrade. Some sort of magical aura will spring up over you like an invisible halo. Go figure. Just make sure that your fallen comrade has not already turned into a zombie, because then you’re toast.
So be nice, be good, be helpful, and for goshsakes do not rescue any adorable kittens.
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